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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Self harmers haven's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 21st, 2015
5:50 pm
Maybe if the stars align

I wish i could have seen you before I left our friends house

(Can I have a hug?)

Sunday, July 25th, 2010
10:51 am
Volunteers Needed for a Research Study on Self Injury
Dear LJ Community,
The recruitment for our self injury study is now complete.
Thank you for your support of our research. Please feel free to email me with any questions you may have.
~Tatyana Kholodkov
Graduate Student
Old Dominion University 

(Can I have a hug?)

Friday, April 4th, 2008
7:51 pm
New to this all ...
New to the community, new to livejournal, new to, well, self destruction.

If you wouldn't mind, I would like to, just get this out there.

I was fallen for a girl who had had no ability to love herself, and yet we formed a bond. She cut the back of her left calf.
I fought with her for a month and two weeks to get her into therapy.

She came to see the truth and we parted. For two months I have thought that she would get better and come back for me.
She got better.

And now, I've got to let go of her. Let go and fall into something.

I thought things through and couldn't understand her.
I thought I'd give it a try, to fully grasp things.
The trouble is, it was more than just a study.
Today is my third day of experimenting with how, and where to cut.

I've let go of her.
I've found excitement, delirium, and euphoria in my blood. I've replaced my healing cutter, with cutting to heal.

I'm terribly lost.

Current Mood: confused

(2 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Saturday, March 29th, 2008
10:58 am
Self injury Ezine


You can SUBSCRIBE to an ezine that will email new information and writings about self-injury to you each month. The ezine is an invaluable resource as it will provide a continuous support network. Just subscribe at http://scratchandburn.com.  


Scratch and Burn's website is designed to be a place where people can come to learn, SHARE (just email me your story), and express anything that relates to their self-injury. You can find books, research studies, art, creative writing, links, and more at this self-injury site.

(Can I have a hug?)

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
10:04 pm
I used to post in here. A long time ago. I dont expect any of you to remember me but its nice to post again. I dont know why I decided to stop posting. I guess I got better. I met someone and now we're getting married.

He came home today and he told me about the girl he works with. Shes been hurting herself and is clearly bipolar from what he tells me about her. Its clear to him too since hes been well educated since he met me.

Just hearing him talk about it. I guess was hard for me. And he knew it was. And hes scared for her since she is a nice girl. I wouldn't wish this struggle on anyone.

Stay strong everyone. I know how hopeless it feels sometimes but there is an end to it.

yeah, if someone had said that to me 2 years ago, I wouldn't have belived them either.

Current Mood: sympathetic

(Can I have a hug?)

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
10:19 pm
I just broke up wivv ma boyfriend todaai nd id sumfink i havnt done for the year and a half nearli 2.
I feel sick i cnt believe i let it happend!!! It just came so easy.... id thrown all my over razors away nd just ther on ma bedroom floor was a shaperner 
nd i just ripp ed it out nd ripped into my arm
Ive bulimic for about the last two year and fort that had overpowered all of this cutting shit
ive cut the whole inside of my arm
wrist to armpit it like 20minutes
I just feel useless

(2 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Sunday, July 8th, 2007
3:20 pm
New plea
New plea.

Dear all,

Firstly, I would like to thank you all for the fantastic support you have offered after my last post asking for photographic models. I received messages from people offering support, willing to have their photo taken or those wishing to fill in a questionnaire. I couldn’t have expected a better response and I hope I come across as genuine when I explain how grateful I am. That gratitude is also extended to all the moderators who kindly left my posts up for people to read. Thank you.
Your support on my last project has inspired me to push my creativity further and extend the self-harm project that I began over two years ago.
This time I am hoping other people might be willing to get involved as I am opening the 'requirements' up to include many more heath issues.
Although I have not yet written my Artist statement, I am hoping to make the most of my 4/5-month holiday by getting a head start on next term’s project.
The project I worked on for my first year of my BA(Hons) Photography, at Anglia Ruskin University, was surrounding the subject Self Injury/Harm. My initial plan was to put together a book of shots of young men and women who use self-harm. I had always planned to put these, headless, images in a book. However after much deliberation I decided to hand in a miniature version of the images, kept in a box for presentation and to save the book idea for my second year.
I now have another 8 or 9 months to put together a comprehensive collection of images that not only cover the issue of self harm, but also bring in other issues that may trigger self harm or are produced as a secondary to self harm (although I realize this is very different for everyone). I intend to create images that contain men and women, of all ages, colour or sexuality, who have had or who currently are experiencing issues with, self harm, anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS, depression, binge eating, disassociation, sexual abuse/rape survivors, participation in S&M, transgender/ transexuality, scaring from incidence etc. Essentially I am hoping to capture many aspects of mental health with a specific look at how mental health affects you physically and how you feel about your body.
As part of this work, I would like to follow 3 or 4 people through treatment. This could be in-patient or out patient, mental health related treatment or physical health. For ease, it would be great if the participating people lived near Cambridge or around the south of the country, however, I would be willing to travel if needed.
The idea of lots of people modeling once, representing their own lives and stories, means I can share very small insights into a mind set or situations. However, by having the chance to follow 3 or 4 (or more if possible) people through one part of their lives, documenting the details of their stories, I have the opportunity to show people a much deeper look into life with impairments.
I hope that the work is tasteful, that it never glorifies SI or any other issues that may be raised, yet at the same time offer people who don’t understand a chance to see how it affects people. That is where your help comes in!
I may be able to explain my own relationship with self-harm and mental/physical health, I may even be able to give statistics, but unless many people get to share their stories.. We can’t expect people to just get it.
Just like last time, I am looking for people from anywhere in the UK, 
any age (as long as your over 16 with parental consent or over 18), and either sex. I would be willing to help out with travel costs to my home and you would be more than welcome to stay at my house with a friend of yours.
This time the compassion of the images will be slightly different, but you will always have the last word on what you are happy to do.
The models I have used so far are my close friends, people who I love and would always want to protect, as well as the wonderful people who nominated them selves. I would never exploit anyone and I will include text in the book that describes just how grateful I am for the models co-operation. All models will need to sign a model release form.
I am telling you all about the book and my hopes for the future as I would like to ask if anyone would want to take part? I want to show all aspects of self-harm and mental health issues, not just scars or tears or meds. There is so much more to it. The smiles you have to put on for those around you, the depression you feel, the guilt, the eating distress, the arguments with loved ones, I want to try and communicate that too.
I am hoping to get moving as soon as possible, so if you have some free time over the summer and fancy a trip to Cambridge, please e-mail and we can work something out!
Feel free to contact me, Indigo.Clouds.Imagery[@]Gmail[.]com

(Can I have a hug?)

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007
6:49 pm

(Can I have a hug?)

Monday, May 7th, 2007
5:54 pm
New Book About Cutting Released May 2007
My name is Vanessa and I have struggled with anoreixa for 20 years and self-injury for more than 30 years. In a quest to understand the reasons behind my behaviors, I entered an intensive therapy program and the insight I gained was so valuable, I decided to share my story with others. Comes the Darkness, Comes the Light is a story of self-injury and redemption. By understanding some of the root causes behind my self-injury, I was able to go forward on a path to healing and have just celebrated my first year injury free!

I would love to have you visit my blog and respond to some of my entries!

(Can I have a hug?)

Saturday, March 24th, 2007
2:35 pm
I don't feel so lost now.
I still feel just as alone. But my blade is no longer as tempting.
I still feel I need to scream, like I need someone to beat me and obliterate me.
I still want punishment, and there's no one to give it.
I feel I need redemption for the mistakes I've made, for the people I've hurt.
I wear these scars now and I hate them. I hide them, they are my secret. treasure.
I'm just a dreamer.
I want someone to come and make this all better.
I'm hoping for something that will never happen.

(1 Bear-hug | Can I have a hug?)

Sunday, March 11th, 2007
10:26 pm
I'm not sure what to do anymore.
I feel so hopeless. Several years ago when I tried to commit suicide and failed I had my epiphany. I stopped cutting, stopped wanting an end, and I felt generally better. Now I find myself here, my scars growing, and a need to cover up more and more of myself.
I'm not sure of what I want from here. Maybe just someone to talk to. Someone that might help me not feel so alone, so helpless.
I'm crying out to the world. I hope someone comes. I don't like feeling I can't control myself anymore.

(2 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Thursday, March 1st, 2007
6:01 pm
i want my razor so bad.

(4 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
12:36 pm
so i've been a self-harmer for the past five years now
and i've recently quit

so i've decided i need sort of tribute tattoos
on my inner forearms
something somewhat symbolic and meaningful.

anyone happen to have any ideas on what would be nice?
i would greatly appreciate any input anyone has. =)

Current Mood: tired

(Can I have a hug?)

Thursday, January 25th, 2007
6:43 pm
I hadn't cut in 37 days. I was so proud of myself. I have been really stressed these last few days, and I had too. ugh. I hate this...

(Can I have a hug?)

Thursday, January 18th, 2007
9:42 pm
I wish that I could go longer then a month without harming myself.

Current Mood: crushed

(1 Bear-hug | Can I have a hug?)

9:42 pm
I wish that I could go longer then a month without harming myself.

Current Mood: crushed

(Can I have a hug?)

Saturday, January 13th, 2007
12:27 pm

(Can I have a hug?)

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
10:03 pm
i havent posted to here in a long time. but lately my life has been going to hell. not even my life really. just the way im dealing with it. i guess i should be the happiest i've been in a long time because my actual life is going pretty amazing rite now. but because of how awesome it is, it's been hitting me of how awesome evrything else in my life is not. the only thing i have to live for is my love and my best friends. one of which happens to be my love. but have those two people as the only things to live for has made me realize that the people who are suppose to care, dont. for those of you who have read my story you know that i havent cut in 3 years. well it's going on four now and it's still as hard as ever. for the first time in i dont know how long, i had to use a pen. and about 3 weeks ago i went into the bathroom and just sat there with a sharpened bobby pin to my wrist. the only thing that stopped me was the faces of those two people i know it would hurt for me to go through with it. their hurt was the only thing stopping me. or else i would have thrown almost 4 years down the drain. tonight i wrote my first letter to burn in almost 2 years. i've been having more and more panic attacks. it feels like everything is building up and building up and just keeps weighing down on me. im i feel like im going crazy and im going to explode and i just want it all to go away . i want to drink it all away. and cut it all away cuz those are the only ways i know to get it to go away. but i cant do those things because they would hurt those people i love the most. and the worst part is that the people who are supposed to be the ones who notice, my family, never do. the arent the ones i see when i close my eyes. and that hurts.

(6 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Friday, December 8th, 2006
10:17 am
Hi, I'm Joan and I haven't posted anything yet. I'm two weeks clean today and am wound free. However, I feel like I am struggling up hill. I thought about it yesterday while at class because I got a grade below my expectation I have of myself and I felt soo down about it that I almost ran into the bathroom with the little secrets tin case I never leave home without..... Cheers to everyone during the holiday season!

Current Mood: blank

(4 Bear-hugs | Can I have a hug?)

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
4:16 pm
Hi. My name is Calli (musecalliopeia), and I am now 23 months clean! I recently opened a new self-injury recovery journal, selfinjuryanon. Please feel free to come by and check it out - anyone is welcome to join. I want this to be a safe, supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences.

(Can I have a hug?)

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